Franklin P. Jones

I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.

Perhaps nothing has changed in the course of history as much as historians.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.

It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

You never realize what a good memory you have until you try to forget something.

A bargain is something you have to find use for, once you've bought it.

It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.

Seeing ourselves as others would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them.

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they're loaded or not.

Love doesn't make the word go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Sex is a two-way treat.

All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband someday.

Mincing your words makes it easier if you have to eat them later.

Silence gives consent, or a horrible feeling that nobody's listening.

An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief.

Most people like hard work. Particularly when they are paying for it.

The British have a remarkable talent for keeping calm, even when there is no crisis.

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence.

The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.

An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife.

Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.