American Playwright, Raconteur and Entrepreneur
"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something."
"A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune."
"Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished."
"All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long."
"I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'"
"I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets. [On his deathbed]"
"I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own."
"I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience."
"Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him."
"Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy. ]Telegram to his brother, upon the news that Addison was fatally ill]"
"The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in."
"You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that. [On his deathbed]"