Great Throughts Treasury

"To marry for money or to marry without money is a crime. There's no real objection to marrying a woman with a fortune, but there is to marrying a fortune with a woman."

"Were we all one body, we should lose the tremendous stimulation that comes from the present arrangement, and I fear that our uniformity would become the uniformity of death and the tomb."

"What you know is a club for yourself, and what you don't know is a meat-ax for the other fellow."

"When a fortune comes without calling, it's apt to leave without asking."

"When a fellow's got what he set out for in this world, he should go off into the woods for a few weeks now and then to make sure that he's still a man, and not a plug-hat and a frock-coat and a wad of bills."

"When an office begins to look like a family tree, you'll find worms tucked away snug and cheerful in most of the apples."

"When the tongue lies, the eyes tell the truth."

"With most people happiness is something that is always just a day off. But I have made it a rule never to put off being happy till to-morrow. Don't accept notes for happiness, because you'll find that when they're due they're never paid, but just renewed for another thirty days."

"You can buy a whole lot of happiness with fifty dollars a week when you have the right sort of a woman for your purchasing agent."

"When a man makes a specialty of knowing how some other fellow ought to spend his money, he usually thinks in millions and works for hundreds."

"You can trust a woman's taste on everything except men; and it's mighty lucky that she slips up there or we'd pretty nigh all be bachelors."

"When you make a mistake, don't make a second one -- keeping it to yourself. Own up. The time to sort out rotten eggs is at the nest. The deeper you hide them in the case the longer they stay in circulation, and the worse impression they make when they finally come to the breakfast table."

"You can't work individuals by general rules. Every man is a special case and needs a special pill."

"You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction."

"You'll find that education's about the only thing lying around loose in this world, and that it's about the only thing a fellow can have as much of as he's willing to haul away. Everything else is screwed down tight and the screw-driver lost."

"You're going to meet a good many stray fools in the course of business every day without going out to hunt up the main herd after dark."