Great Throughts Treasury

"The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer."

"The farmers can be thankful. Didn't the Farm Board decide in Washington last week that they could have cheaper interest? All the farmers have to do now is to find something new to put up as security."

"The farmers starve three years out of four but the good year is always election year. It really looks like the Lord was in cahoots with the Republicans, but if He is that would make you almost lose faith in Him."

"The fellow sitting off looking at you can tell better how you are doing and what your prospects are than you can yourself."

"The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it."

"the fellow that furnished the resources ought to have a fair divvy of the loot, and (Ambassador Dwight) Morrow feels they should have it. You know, sometimes the fellow who is putting in his money feels that he ought to have the big end. But, after all, when he gets through he has got his profit and his Investment out. But the one with nothing but the resources, when they are gone, his original investment is blowed up. Nature only put so many resources in the ground and when you happen to own some of 'em, why, you got to nurse your investment along."

"The football season is about over. Education never had a more financial year. School will commence now."

"The football season is closing and college life is about over for the year. A few students will stay out the season for the dances, and some of the players may take up a couple of pipe courses and hang around till Spring practice starts, but most of the good ones will go home for the Winter to show the clippings."

"The good old days with most of us was when we didn’t earn enough to pay an income tax."

"The good people of Dakota offered to give Calvin Coolidge a farm if he would live on it. I wouldn't advise you to give those people too much credit for generosity. There is not a farmer in any State in the West that wouldn't be glad to give him a farm if he will paint it, fix up the fences and keep up the series of mortgages that are on it. And if you think Coolidge ain't smart, you just watch him not take it."

"The government says they have loaned over One Billion dollars to the Farmers. In other words, we can't help you make any money, but we will show you where you can owe some more."

"The government sent the Indians to Oklahoma. They had a treaty that said, 'You shall have this land as long as grass grows and water flows.' It was not only a good rhyme but looked like a good treaty, and it was till they struck oil. Then the Government took it away from us again. They said the treaty only refers to 'Water and Grass; it don't say anything about oil.'"

"The high income tax come pretty near passing in the Senate. Only lacked about six votes. So it won't be long now. Well, there is millions and millions that are not making it, that would be glad to give up 99 per cent if you would let 'em earn a hundred thousand or more."

"The high office of President has been degenerated into two ordinarily fine men being goaded by political leeches into saying things that if they were in their right minds they wouldn’t think of saying."

"The higher the education the higher priced drinks they become accustomed to. Prohibition will never catch up with education."

"The idea that a tax on something keeps anybody from buying it is a lot of “hooey.” They put it on gasoline all over the country and it hasn’t kept a soul at home a single night or day. You could put a dollar a gallon on and still a pedestrian couldn’t cross the street with safety without armor."

"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf."

"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."

"The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment."

"The Lord split knowledge up among his subjects about equal. The so-called ignorant is happy. You think he is happy because he don’t know any better. Maybe he is happy because he knows enough to be happy. The smart one knows a lot. That makes him unhappy because he can’t impart it to his friends. Discontent comes in proportion to knowledge."

"The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die."

"The man that found the 726-carat diamond in Africa, received $350,000 for it and wants to buy a farm and silk hat. Well, I can understand a man perhaps being eccentric enough to want to own a silk hat."

"The man with the best job in the country is the vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How's the President?'"

"The Ministry in all denominations are the poorest paid workers in the world. They would form a union and demand more pay, but they don’t get enough to pay dues into a union so they can’t form one."

"The minute a fellow gets into the Chamber of Commerce, he quits mowing his own lawn."

"The minute you read something and you can't understand it you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. Then if you give it to another lawyer to read and he don't know just what it means, why then you can be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. If it's in a few words and is plain and understandable only one way, it was written by a non-lawyer."

"The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover didn’t know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow’s hands.”"

"The money we spend on government. And it’s not a bit better government than we got for one-thirds the money two years ago."

"The more education he gets the less apt he is to be a Democrat and if he is very highly educated he will see the apple sauce in both parties."

"The more I see of politics...the more I wonder what in the world any man would ever want to take it up for. Then some people wonder why the best men of a community are not the office holders."

"The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."

"The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."

"The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other."

"The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party's worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best."

"The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best."

"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself."

"The movies cleaned up and they didn’t write editorials against the lawyers for saying they should. If all lawyers are not honest how are clients to tell when they might go to a bad one any more than a movie fan might go to a bad movie? There is no reason of knowing till you go and see. Lawyers is everybody's business the same as the movies are."

"The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?"

"The old horse is coming back in a high lope. Thousands of people are riding a horse today that five years ago couldn't sit in a Ford with all the doors locked."

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."

"The one that's out always looks the best."

"The one way to detect a feeble-minded man is get one arguing on economics."

"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets."

"The only thing that can stop hair from falling ... is the floor."

"The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them."

"The only way to beat the lawyers is to die with nothing."

"The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds."

"The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing."

"The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president?"

"The platform will always be the same, promise everything, deliver nothing."