Great Throughts Treasury

"The president says, 'There is lots of people worse off than the Farmers.' I don't know who it could be unless it is the fellow who holds the Mortgages on the Farms."

"The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem."

"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket."

"The real energy and minds of the Normal Majority will step in and handle it and fight it through to a successful conclusion."

"The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it."

"The Republican platform promises to do better. I don’t think they have done so bad. Everybody’s broke but them."

"The Republicans always looked bad three years out of four. But the year they look good is election year. A voter don't expect much. If you give him one good year he is satisfied."

"The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election."

"The Republicans mopped up, the Democrats gummed up, and I will now try and sum up. Things are terribly dull now. We won’t have any more serious comedy until Congress meets."

"The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the President has to tell 'em."

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."

"The sales tax is the best and most equitable tax. The gasoline tax, which is nothing but a sales tax, has proven painless, productive and punitive. Everything we buy should have its equal proportion of tax, outside of cheap food and cheap clothes."

"The schools ain't what they used to be and never was."

"The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him."

"The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office."

"The small town is passing. It was the incubator that hatched all our big men (meaning leaders), and that's why we haven't got as many big men today as we used to have. Take every small-town-raised (leader) out of business and you would have nobody left running it but vice-presidents."

"The time ain’t far off when a woman won’t know any more than a man."

"The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got."

"The town with the cheapest land and most concrete can have the largest stadium."

"The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected."

"The truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that could happen to you."

"The United States investigates everything-usually after it's dead."

"The United States never lost a war or won a conference."

"The United States Senate opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation."

"The Ways and Means Committee is a committee that's supposed to find the Ways to divide up the Means."

"The whole financial structure of Wall Street seems to rise or fall on the mere fact that the Federal Reserve Bank raises or lowers the amount of interest. Any business that can't survive a one percent change must be skating on thin ice."

"The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity. I really believe if it come to a vote whether to go to war with England, France and Germany combined, or raise the rate on incomes of over $100,000, they would vote war."

"The world is full of men who do big things, but when you meet ’em they are not outstanding personalities. Pretty near everybody is almost alike."

"The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you."

"Their greatest trait to recommend the Democrats is optimism and humor. You've got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one."

"Theories are great, they sound great, but the minute you are asked to prove one in actual life, why the thing blows up."

"There ain’t any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket."

"There ain’t nothing to life but satisfaction."

"There ain't nothing but one thing wrong with every one of us, and that's selfishness."

"There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs."

"There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches."

"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."

"There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works."

"There has been war since the beginning of time and we are no smarter than the people that have gone before us. There is apt to be some more war."

"There is a great tendency all over the country now to be high-brow. More people should work for their dinner instead of dressing for it."

"There is a horse here--the furthest north of any horse, and he eats fish and travels on snowshoes."

"There is a tremendous movement on to get lower taxes on earned incomes. Then will come the real problem, 'Who among us on salary are earning our income?'"

"There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can never tell, till you see it, just how big a liar History is."

"There is good news from Washington today. Congress is deadlocked and can't act."

"There is no argument in the world carries the hatred that a religious belief one does. The more learned a man is the less consideration he has for another man’s belief."

"There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate."

"There is no income tax in Russia. But there’s no income."

"There is no less sickness, no less earthquakes, no less progress, no less inventions, no less morality, no less Christianity under one than the other. They are all the same. It won’t make 50 cents difference to a one of you. Unless you’re foolish enough to bet on it."

"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. They are always yapping about “public service.” It’s public jobs that they are looking for."

"There is no race of people in the world that can compete with a senator for talking. If I went to the Senate, I couldn’t talk fast enough to answer roll call."